Why I Decided To Become A Single-Mother-By-Choice (SMBC) & How To Do It Yourself
Why I decided to become a single-mother-by-choice and how to do it yourself.
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As a 30-year-old woman, I seriously questioned whether or not I would become a mother at all. Falling in love with a man didn’t seem like it was in the cards for me. And nearly a decade later, I feel the same way.
Today I am a single mother of twins “by choice”. My twin boys were born six years ago after a stressful IVF process that I managed to complete just before I was laid off from my full-time job of seven years. Amazingly enough, that was the moment my dreams began to unfold! I encourage all women to follow your gut because it will probably lead you to the best things that have ever happened in your life.
To all women considering the SMBC lifestyle, here are a few tips:
Make Up Your Mind
You have to decide whether or not you want to do this! Weigh out the pros and cons of being a single mother given your circumstances and then go from there. Keep in mind that the clinical process takes time, sometimes years, as you think through this.
Since you’re not married, you’ll have to decide if you want to go with a sperm donor that you know or an anonymous donor. I recommend going with an anonymous donor because you’ll get the quality of sperm that you want and there is no chance of drama with your donor dad.
2. Check Your Insurance & Budget
Many insurance companies cover the majority of the cost of IVF these days, but some do not. Before you can even get started, your financial situation will have to be cleared by your doctor’s office. I don’t suggest going for perfection here--who is ever financially prepared for a baby?! And keep in mind that it’s always good to have multiple plans for supplementing your income throughout your process and when you become a mother.
3. Do It, Don’t Give Up
Don’t wait, ladies. Time is working against us here when it comes to reproduction. The chances of success begin to decrease fast when we hit our mid-thirties. Also, as mentioned above, the clinical process can be lengthy, so you’ll need to give yourself a few years just to get started and go through it. Be prepared for setbacks by having a back-up plan for your happiness and just go for it! Call your doctor and make an appointment at a fertility clinic. You can start choosing your donor dad TODAY by doing some research on the sperm donor websites. I had a flawless experience with California Cryobank. Check it out!
Tell me what’s holding you back in the comments.
Baby dust!